The Mommy Handbook

I recently consulted the Mommy Handbook. The handbook is a multi-volume work and is under constant revision. Still, I pulled it out and desperately searched the table of contents, chapters, and the index, looking for this entry: As a Mommy, you will purchase a swimsuit and attempt to coverup as many after-birth flaws as possible. […]

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Black, White, and Asian

I was taking Simone and Nadia out of their car seats when a black woman in the car beside me rolled up with her two children and a cart full groceries. “They are so pretty,” she said. “Thank you,” I said, continuing to unbuckle Simone. “Are they mixed?” “Oh, yeah.” “Well, they sure are beautiful.” […]

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Yellow Bug!

That’s what Simone and Nadia yell when they see a yellow Volkswagen Beetle Bug. I am not at all sure how this game started, but it keeps the little people in the back seat occupied. Simone particularly likes Volkswagen Bugs and Ford Mustangs, also known as horsey cars. Unfortunately, she also likes cars sporting the […]

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Bitty Twins

Bitty Twins are a surefire way to score two dolls for younger girls. Just like their big sisters, there are tons of coordinating outfits and accessories for endless playtime. At $95 for the pair, though, they are expensive. That’s why these two little girls reside in our bedroom and are never tossed in the toy […]

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Miss I Do All By Myself

Everyday, several times a day, we hear those words. In the bathroom: I do all by myself. In the car: I do all by myself. At the table: I do all by myself. All of this would be fine if Nadia really could do it all by herself. We might as well invest in toilet […]

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Attention Shoppers: I Am A Bad Mommy

I don’t know what it is about taking the girls to the local discount store, but somehow it’s like entering the Twilight Zone or something. The shopping part usually goes smoothly. All the trouble starts at the check-out. I put the items on the belt, and the drama started. Simone picked up a magazine she […]

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Will Do Anything For Chicken

A certain chicken restaurant, famous for its advertisements featuring cows pleading for patrons to eat more chicken, is giving away free chicken today to anyone who dresses up like a cow. Preschool teachers, mindful of the recession, took advantage of the offer. Parents supplied white T-shirts, and the kids did the rest. They cut out […]

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Tiny Artists

                       The Stinks — as we call them — produce a lot of art, and there simply is not enough room on our refrigerator for all of it. So, I decided to make a place in the kitchen for a revolving exhibit. It’s called the Museum […]

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Up, Up, And Away

It’s funny, this thing called Motherhood. I no longer run my life. Children, they are called. Both of mine are more than 35 years younger than I am and 42 years younger than my husband. Our lives revolve around them – their doctor’s appointments, their parties, their futures. Many children are decades younger than their […]

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