Really? An interracial couple couldn’t agree on what to do with their daughter’s hair, so they went on national television to have entertainers tell them who is right and who is wrong. I’ve watched The Marriage Ref once or twice, and I don’t find it all that funny or enlightening. In this episode, which aired Monday, Aug. 14, the white father  wants his little girl to express herself, while the black mom wants her to look presentable.

If I had to take the matter seriously, I’d side with the mother. There’s nothing wrong with a child expressing herself, as long as that’s something she wants to do. Nothing in the clip leaves that impression. All the viewer learns is that the father simply doesn’t want to do hair, and that’s too bad.

Here’s the thing. These people aren’t serious. There is way too much acting and exaggerating in the clip, and the viewer later learns the father wants his daughter to be “discovered.” I think he and his wife are using the show to get their daughter on television. They got the exposure they wanted. I just wish it had not been at the expense of a child and her beautiful, natural hair.



3 thoughts to “The Marriage Ref

  • Blanc2

    These so-called reality shows are all so contrived. Note the set-up frame: over the voice of the mother saying something like “It’s not like I’m a perfectionist or anything,” we see a shot of her setting out, in geometric precision, some shoes, a barette, and some other accessories, all matched. Many of the shots of the girl with her “big hair” look show her beaming a show-biz smile, while the shots of her getting her hair plaited show her somber and downcast. That said, I thought the girl looked cute with her “big hair” look. At the same time, she looked cute with the braids. Let’s face it; she’s a cute little girl.

    That said, I agree that daddy should learn to braid. I learned to braid when my girl was little, and I am probably the least adroit human on the face of planet earth when it comes to hair. If I can do it, anybody can.

    By the way, the point about him being bald, that’s probably a bigger factor than his ethnicity. I’m bald. We bald guys celebrate abundant, exuberant hair on our children. If our children are biracial and can produce a humongous halo of bountiful, curly locks, we love it. It’s something we ourselves wish that we could grow and there is probably some truth to the accusation that we live vicariously through our children on this issue.

  • Rania

    I have to disagree. I didn’t see it that way at all. To be honest, MOST fathers, even if they have the same hair type, DON’T WANT to do their kid’s hair. Sometimes I (underlined) don’t even want to do my kiddo’s hair so, I can totally understand him.

    The biggest issue was whether or not it was “acceptable” in appearance. If there are items in the hair, it needs to be cleaned. It can be acceptable big and poofy as well as in ponytails – as long as it’s clean.

    I won’t address the “wanting to be discovered” because I just don’t think that’s the real point here.

  • Melissa

    As we saw with the whole “Balloon Boy” debacle, some people will do anything to become famous—including using their innocent children to further that ambition. And “Toddlers & Tiaras”—that show just freaks me out. Just let kids be kids.

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