Simone and Nadia receive a lot of compliments. They are so beautiful. They are so well-behaved. They are so smart.

There has been a lot of chatter in the sphere about stereotypes. Some people say biracial and multiracial children are prettier than others. No one has said that to us, but it certainly has been implied.

I am more worried about the beauty inside. Are they eating well? Are they getting enough sleep? Is Simone ready for Kindergarten? Is Nadia ready to see her sister attend another school? Do they feel safe? Are they comfortable with themselves? Are they learning enough?

It is easy for a stranger to see superficial beauty. It is just one of the ways we judge others. But I have to believe that if Ken and I do our parenting job well, few will care how Simone and Nadia look on the outside.

5 thoughts to “The Beauty Inside

  • Nikki

    I find the whole mixed people are more attractive interesting. A lot of people believe it though. I am sure you will raise your girls the right way. 🙂

  • Blanc2

    Your concern is more important than you know. A family that is close to us, another biracial family, has a daughter who recently emerged from high school. She was extremely pretty, most would say beautiful, at a Halle Berry level of jaw dropping beautiful. As a little girl this child was smart and charming and engaging, but in her teenage years she became focused on her physical beauty, along with which came a shallowness of intellect, a certain self-centered conceit, and an abandonment of intellectual curiosity. After high school she abandoned her goal of going to college in favor of an easy path — dating sports celebrities.

    In other words, it’s possible to be “too beautiful.” This family was caring and focused on school. Both parents actively involved. Etc. But the overwhelming messages of desire, lust, etc. that this young lady received from society in general were overwhelming.

    • Percola

      I do worry about this. I knew kids like this. I don’t know what happened to them, but I do know they had fallen into a unhealthy line of thinking. That’s just one of the reasons why I scoff at the mere suggestion of entering my girls in beauty pageants. First, I don’t have the patience for that kind of thing. Secondly, I do believe they can be harmful.

  • Rania

    This is definitely a myth many people hold fast – that mixed are more beautiful. haha But I have seen plenty of mixed kids that were um…not so much.

    I have had my own experience with this myth. My father is Black/Japanese and of course like most black people my mom, in addition to Black is of Native American and white decent. I do NOT consider myself a beauty AT ALL(!!!), however, when people would compliment me on my height and looks, after finding out about my background, they would say “Oh, that’s why you’re so pretty and exotic-looking”. Like you couldn’t be ONLY Black and be considered attractive. I’ve seen 100% African or Italian or whatever full-blooded ethnic/racial group that have been drop-dead gorgeous! I really wish we could get past the mixed is better thinking but I think it’s a carry over from the past.

    I agree that if we focus too much on the outer appearance, as Blanc2 mentioned, normally intelligent kids start to focus on that and lose the intellectual side of themselves. That’s why, even though I believe all my children are beautiful and my little ones especially get many compliments, I don’t focus on the exterior – rather let them know without intelligence and respect for yourself and others, you have nothing.

    Vanity and conceit are not attractive traits. I don’t care HOW beautiful you are.

    • Percola

      @Rania. I agree.

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