I don’t usually set New Year’s resolutions. Like a lot of people, I don’t believe in them. Just set a goal and accomplish it, I’ve said in the past. If something’s wrong, fix it.
Part of me still believes resolutions aren’t needed. Part of me also thinks you don’t get anything you don’t ask for or claim. I’m making resolutions, mainly because I want to look back at a year and say that I grew in some way. Making resolutions or setting goals, especially in such a public way, will hold me accountable for them.
A friend recently sent to me The Story Within: New Insights and Inspiration for Writers by Laura Oliver. This friend knows I have a story to tell. This friend also knows I’ve had trouble getting the story out of me and onto paper. I’ve written pieces of my story on this blog and for magazines. In 2012, I’m going to get the story out of mind and onto paper. Not a few essays. Not some chapters. Not a book proposal. All of it. I resolve to write the whole darn book in 2012.
For two years, I’ve gone to the Mixed Roots Film and Literary Festival in Los Angeles to celebrate Loving Day and bask in prose and media about the mixed experience. In 2012, I plan to host a modest Loving Day event at home. I’ve been thinking about doing this for years, and I’m going to do it this year. I’m not kidding about the modest part. It will start small and can grow from there.
The most difficult resolution is one that will require an attitude change. There used to be a time when I didn’t care much what folks thought or said about me. For some reason, that changed after I had Simone and Nadia. Well, I’ve got to get closer to the place where I resided before I had children. I can be sensitive to someone’s feelings while remaining true to mine. I’m calling my new attitude unflappable grace. This resolution is less concrete than the others. It will be a process. I am sure I will lose my way at times. By the end of 2012, though, I will have mastered unflappable grace.