I don’t know exactly what happens to women after they give birth, but I think we become very brave. We think we can do anything and somehow forget there are some things we can’t do. After I had my two bowling balls, caught bile in my bare hands and changed diapers while half asleep, I started to think I had super powers.
Childbirth, as far as I know, can catapult a woman into becoming a great mother. It happened to me. Childbirth, as far as I know, does not make one a great dancer or confer rhythm or somehow make you shake your hips to the beat. You know, like, if before you had kids you couldn’t dance, you probably won’t be able to dance after you have kids.
I ought to know. I’ve tested the theory. The result is the same. I can’t dance.
I am uncoordinated. I miss beats. I have two left feet. I couldn’t dance my way out of a paper bag if my children’s lives depended on it. So, why did I sign up for Zumba?
I thought it would be fun. I was right. I’ve had a wonderful time in class. I thought it would help tone my body. I was right. It’s a wonderful workout. I thought I’d love music. Right again. I simply forgot I might have to do a lot of dancing.
Needless to say, I have been embarrassing myself in class. The teacher goes right; I go left. My classmates shake, shimmy, step; I step, shimmy, shake. No problem, I thought, these women don’t know me. Then our teacher wanted us to share our first names. If I had any sense, I would have yelled out Honeysmoke. But no, I gave them my real name. I fear the other students talk about me after class. Did you see the skinny black woman who can’t catch a beat? Who does she think she is? I have prepared an answer. I’m a mom, I plan to say.  I forgot there are some things I can’t do. I’m so sorry.

4 thoughts to “Zumba!

  • Ernessa from 32 Candles

    Oh we should go to zumba class together — you’d feel much better about yourself! I think it’s good to do things that you’re not good at. It keeps you both brave and humble, which is why I’m super-proud to be one of the most inflexible yogis on the planet. Tho, a friend once told me about a guy who was even more inflexible than me and went on to become a yoga teacher. My first thought: that guy is AWESOME!

    Reply
  • Mariza

    I had to smile while reading this. I can only imagine the disaster I’ll be when I start the class in March! I’m super excited about it but to be honest I cant remember the last time I actually danced ! needless to say this should be interesting…

    Reply
  • mamacandtheboys

    SO Honeysmoke you just rocked my world. I have NEVER been graced with anything remotely resembling rththym. I can’t even spell the word! Before I had kids it was EVEN worse. When I lived in Manhattan many moons ago, I took an African Dance class. After the second class the teacher came up to me, the not so skinny looking white woman, and said “The dance is about collecting fish, not flinging them to their death!” Need I say more! All my public dancing is on crowded dance floors with the over 50 set, so I look youthful and wildly hip!

    Reply
    • Honeysmoke

      Thanks so much for the laugh. I, too, have taken an African dance class and failed miserably.

      Reply

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